All posts by vnmstr

Graphic designer. Analyst. Web developer. Architect. House music lover. Seriously though - whatever.

The South African Medical Condition: Constructive Begging

I am not oblivious to the fact that legitimate, decent employment is difficult to come by in South Africa.  The main reason in my opinion?  Illiteracy.  People simply cannot read and write even in their mother tongues.  Some opt to commit crime.  Others will get by on a stall somewhere busy.  Some will venture out to their nearest traffic light intersection to make the best of our free-flowing peak hour traffic.

‘Car Guardian’ Beggars

There is this South African perception that you can’t expect to park your car in parking lot, or busy street, and expect to find it there when return back to it – even if it would take all of 5 minutes for you to pop in and out of a building.  Car guards approaching me at the point of parking, or sometimes departure, grates my moobs (male boobs) to the nth degree.  Normally I’d spot the open parking spot anyway, but because he swings his arms for my Boeing A380 aircraft it’s going to cost me.  It’s also likely that if criminals want to take my car for a spin – the car guards would conveniently not see anything now would be anywhere to find on my return to the pleasant surprise of me missing an entire vehicle 🙂

How about when some idiot gives your car a kiss with their bumper?  Of course they saw him, but didn’t think to take down the vehicle registration of the said idiot.  They also don’t care to have a “15min free parking” clause – Savages!  All you ever seem to hear is: “I’ll keep my eye on it, mlungu!”  Where mlungu is slang for ‘white person’ even when you’re chocolate-brown like me.  To make things worse – so many of the cars we drive nowadays have PDC (parking distance control) in the front and back.  Yes – they do not guarantee the utmost prevention of bumping a curb, but now the car is beeping out of control because Mister Car Guardian is standing next to a sensor!  Kill me now!

‘Run of the Mill’ Beggars

Do you think traffic light beggars realize how many other traffic lights and beggars there are in Johannesburg?  I for one think not.  Now I may be sounding like I don’t have a gram of empathy for homeless/struggling people, but I do.  I just don’t have money, drinks, food nor jobs to give 99.99% of them.  Even then – sometimes they only care about ‘the money’, and not so much for your drinks, food nor jobs because them being there reaching into the deepest ventricle of your mind’s heart to get some cash out of you is the only objective.

Blind beggars, the disabled, seemingly single mothers with their young, the white lads who stand there without moving an inch, the lads on their knees in peak hour winter traffic, the youth forcefully washing your windscreen, the chaps trying to collect every bit of trash out of your car for some change and of course the lads with the incredibly animated (and dramatic) walks.  I feel out of all of these that the mothers who use their toddlers to manipulate you out of money break my heart the most, man.  I’m still on the fence about soon-to-be-married bachelors being at these already clogged up intersections.  What if this is an introduction to being a beggar later in life?  No man.  The choreographed dancing lads – oh I cannot forget these!  It just seems as though the poor procreate the most. 😦

Anyway – I can’t just complain about the entertainer lot.  We really need reasonable, entry-level jobs for most.  Ones with reasonable entry requirements.  I keep thinking that if public transport was better, cheaper and ran later we could see shopping centers (where money seems to go die) hiring nearly double their numbers because of shift systems that would need to be in place.  Not all in the stores, but some being cleaners and so forth.  Uniform providing jobs that people can make a living off.  Only if beggars don’t make a good 8 to R10 000 or more per month at these traffic lights, of course.  I wouldn’t be too surprised.  A part of me sniffs massive syndicates being behind some begging groups to be quite honest…

‘Traffic Light Small Business’ Vendors

These are the lads I actually tolerate, but to an extent.  They sell charger cables, super glue, thumb drives, sunglasses, safari hats, children’s toys, wall clocks, DVDs of on-circuit movies, cool drinks, and my most preferred – fruits and vegetables.  Fairly inexpensive and biodegradable should you want not feel like having them.  Do you want to know the one trick I use especially if you struggle to say no like I do?  Here’s what to say: “I already have a few of those in the house.  Thanks!”  Thing is that sometimes, when you have shown how you already have what they’re offering, they will still ask for some ‘change’.  They might even offer you some of their merchandise for ‘free’. Of course you’ll give it back, but not without offering some silver.  This leaves me depleted.  It all feels like a scam.

Don’t despair!  ‘Having’ everything on offer will have you escaping most street vendors, but regarding the ‘rest’ of the beggars – you’re on your own, mlungu!

At-a-Traffic-Intersection-Johannesburg-2011

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The Top 3 Things That ABSOLUTELY Get To Me

It’s fair to say security is important in ways we sometimes tend to take for granted – be it financial, personal or physical – we all have a need to feel safe and sound.  Living in an ever so slightly ‘interesting’ country like South Africa means you always have to look behind your back to make doubly sure that the ‘coast is clear’ and safe to proceed.  I will however argue that South Africa is a stunning country to live in, but the problem?  SOME people. Those marks on a fairly clean table cloth at your favorite restaurant.  Like spilled gravy. Very messy and in need of a full washing machine cotton-appropriate cycle.  Sadly some of these people are our friends and family.  well, at this point in space and time here are the top 3 things that ABSOLUTELY get to me:

Forgetting a Password

Working in the field of information technology introduced the idea of having to memorize some 20+ passwords and personal identification numbers (PIN) for my phone(s), bank account(s), email accounts (in excess of 10 in my case), iTunes accounts, bicycle chain, travel suitcase, multiple social media platforms, and not forgetting the dozens of keys, access control cards and tags at any given point in time.  The only thing that gets close in burden intensity are loyalty reward program cards.  I for one carry a fairly small card holder and in there you barely find room for a medical insurance card, but what will you catch me dead with?  A loyalty card.  I can appreciate a good discount, but where do people find room for these hundreds of cards?  How do they even keep track?  No chance, mate.  It’s just a clever ploy to obtain your personal information and sell your information to companies you’ve never even heard of.  If that’s your thing, accumulating points, then I think it’s cute 🙂

The only solution to ALL this mess?  Biometric access control for absolutely everything.  My fingers (paired with a waterless sanitizer and/or wet wipes) are ready to take control over all entrances, vehicles, mobile device(s), notebook(s), ATMs, travel cases… you name it!  Between your finger prints and retinas there’s a combination there that is actually completely unique in the world.  An actual ‘one of a kind’ feature most people have. I am willing that these are 1st world problems, but imagine you no longer had to remember more than 5 of any form of password.  BLISS!  Now all you’d need to do is not lose your fingers and/or eyes.   Be safe now!

Living in Diepsloot, South Africa

Many who ‘know’ me would be aware that I currently call Diepsloot, in the North of Johannesburg South Africa, home.  In reality I live about 5km from Diepsloot, but the encounters with the taxi drivers on that route, Along William Nicol between the N14 and N1 Western Bypass freeways, on a daily basis has welled up a new level of hate towards taxi drivers.  I choose to use the word hate because they have complete disregard for other road users – including pedestrians and their own passengers.  They simply don’t consider you.  You don’t exist.  You’re in the way.  You have to give them the right of way.  In fact I believe I have now developed full blown road rage, and I’m ready to get into a physical fight if I must.  One that will probably end me, but see if I care. 😦

Besides that bit – we have Steyn City, only one of the most expensive residential developments in Africa when you requirements like your net worth being over R10m in order to qualify to reside there are a must, going on just a kilometer down the road.  I’ve had the pleasure of being in there for lunch, and despite it being incredibly scenic and well-thought out – it has required expansion in the form of: roads, water and electricity.  As a result of these expansion requirements in the last 2 years of residing in ‘Diepsloot’ I have experienced power and water failures so often that I was only left to console myself by remembering that ‘this is Africa’ after all.  All I need to do to remedy this is to move into the parts of Johannesburg I can’t afford to live in… great.

Lending People Money

I think I’m a sucker.  I think I’m a fool.  I think I am absolutely ashamed at how much of my hard-earned money is ‘out there’ in the world and now home with ‘daddy’.  Spent on satisfying the temporary needs by people who don’t give a damn about where I am and if I am in need of my money.  Perception is what continues to betray me.  The perception that perhaps they need my money more than I need it myself.  That and the trust I have that hearing ‘I’ll pay you on Wednesday.  I promise!’ is a real thing.  It hardly ever is.  Often it’s a Thursday or in the distant, unknown future.  I am above exposing someone in a social or public space, but I am not above burning bridges knowing that I won’t get that money back.  I’ll sleep better knowing I never have to ‘deal’ with that person ever again.  One less problem.  The part I hate is that some of these people are family members.  You’ll see someone buy a whole new outfit, showing it off to you, as if no exchange of money ever took place.

In fact my mind is heavy with how I have continued to be ‘that sucker’.  That I always seem to have bothered to tap into that box labelled ‘sympathy’ when they plead for help.

Then you have to go practically ‘begging’ for your own money like you have nothing else better to do.  Become a debt collector, mate!  They won’t explain why they can’t pay you as agreed!  They won’t have the courtesy to agree to new terms that suit them better!  NO!  You must wait in that abyss of nothingness.  Makes you wish you had forced them all to sign acknowledgments of debt just so they know you can come for them legally if they mess you around.  Not because it would be worth it, but for the principle.

So – if you’re going to ‘lend’ someone money?  Be willing to write it and that person off, unless it’s someone worth keeping.  A rare type of person that so… rather say no.  Be the asshole.  Go spend your own money on ice cream if you must!  It’s worth the peace of mind. B-)

Genesis1 Pin-Pad Fingerprint Scanner
Genesis1 Pin-Pad Fingerprint Scanner

Time Travel

Okay I can’t deny it – there are few things as gratifying as passing through passport control about to leave “The Motherland” right at the beginning of an international journey.  I’m not one to post the class I’m flying (obviously meaning I always fly economy class), but just looking at that flight boarding pass and passport combination always has me wondering what the foreign land I’m off to beholds.

Foreign natural habitat?

I always wonder “is the grass really greener on the other side?”  This is true with England by the way.  The grass there is the greenest green you have ever seen!  Their grass is just pure, unfiltered envy.  You even start imagining that all of SA is a desert L Sand storms making everything look khaki brown… Like the entire country is just one big Hammanskraal… It’s so bad!

Will they speak my speak? 

Well – likely not.  This is easily the biggest pain when all over the atlas – language differences.  You leave South Africa being able to command a few African languages, including Afrikaans, only to land up where they don’t know most of those languages, and most importantly – they don’t care.  It’s even cute that you can twang when you speak – they will not even try meet you halfway.  The French and Germans come to mind here.  I have to note that Afrikaans is incredibly useful in Europe even though many have grown and been taught to steer away from it.  Being a Germanic language by origin means that quite a few other languages, and their respective languages become slightly less ‘impossible’.  What I have found to be interesting?  Afrikaans, much like English, adapts and grows with the times.  So terms such as ‘wi-fi’ don’t have a meaning in Dutch, which Afrikaans directly originates from, but exist in the Afrikaans vocab.  I can think of many South African languages that don’t… adapt.

How will the food taste?

Few things are as disappointing as bland tasting food when you can easily achieve this feat back home.  It’s as though when you time travel, by moving outside your normal time zone, your taste buds struggle to adjust.  This happened my first time in the US as well as England.  Make sure to try everything you can stomach though.  On the streets, in that dingy alley to the fine dining experience.  I found that fish dishes, that aren’t fried because screw all fried food, in England are amazing!  Or I got lucky.  Probably got lucky.  Never mind.  Anyway – this is why I’d love to see Asia soon just to sink my teeth into actual donkey meat and stuff.  Or dog meat!  Butterflies and moths!  I want to Periscope something like: “Fluffy, which looks just like my friend’s pet dog, is going dooooooooown with this chili soy sauce!”  Hahahaha!  I make joke.  I am disgusting. 😐

What fun things can you do?

Contiki tours are easily the easiest way to plan a getaway with ‘structure’.  You’ll be in a group of people likely from all over the world with a guide who will usher you between different parts of a country, or countries, showing you all they deem important on your visit.  You’ll be sure to sight see most if not all the iconic landmarks, try out the different local cuisine, loads of alcohol, get in on some local entertainment, some shopping and an opportunity to use your camera to snap away memories throughout your journey.  Ideal if none of your mates are willing to travel with you.

Will I have enough money?

There’s no such thing.  Our ZAR (Zuid-Afrikaanse Rand) has fared poorly against other currencies for what feels like forever.  No – really.  Some people are lucky to work for companies that afford them worldwide travel opportunities.  Some are afforded travel opportunities by their families, and the rest of us have to simply save up.  Contiki Tours might not offer you that 5-star life abroad, but that’s normally not the point of trying to discover and experience foreign countries.  How much is required in the end all depends on you and the exchange rate.  Good luck!

Favorite Country to date?

Strangely, being South African and all, it has to be Amsterdam.  It has nothing to do with the weed (weed is a drug – I don’t care what anyone says).  I swear.  It has everything to do with how you realize where a large part of our modern history originates.  The white people there look like ‘our’ white people.  Familiar church structures, street names, surnames and certainly a familiar Dutch language.  Beautiful scenes and bicycles everywhere you look – my kind of place that.  Second in line?  England.  Another one of our colonizers, yeah?  Really just because it feels like home as well.  The Indians, blacks, coloreds… HOME!  Well, in summer anyway. If you have pre-94 anger swirling in you – ignore this entire section.  Thank you.

Where to next?

A few Asian countries, starting with Thailand, would be great.  A party hub like Ibiza, Tanzania, Angola, Kenya (for the beautiful Maasai tribe), Nigeria (just for the street cred, but not to attend a church service there), Switzerland (for the watch makers), Canada (for the views), Norway, Sweden, and definitely Italy because The Vatican City!  I’m not a big fan of tequila, but definitely Mexico.  Brazil?  One to consider.  Russia?  Why not.  Australia?  No – too many animals and insects can attack and kill you there.  New Zealand?  Maybe.  It’s clear I haven’t seen much of the world after all.  If you know people in foreign countries – I’d recommend you start there.

What is magnificent to see that would have most people in South Africa appreciate this country for what it really is and not what the media and world make it out to be?  Travel to African countries.  Don’t even head too far out – visit our neighboring Namibia, Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Lesotho, and Mozambique.  These are amazing places to start with.  So much history and perspective about the old and new in just these places with them all previously having been previously colonized much like our SA.  That said – I hope you have covered, or plan to cover, South Arica.  There’s a little bit of everything right here.

You know what I have discovered to be completely different in the conversations between black people and white people in SA?  Conversations about travel.  “When I was in Rome with Sandy last year we saw…” or some “…oh no this time the kids were on holiday in New York with their aunt and seem to have had a blast!”
That time you couldn’t wait to send your child(ren) to ‘holiday’ at their grandparents in Turfloop whilst you’re sitting with your mates talking about how much money you lot wasted at the local drinking hole the past weekend…  We’ll get there! 😦

Amazing architecture, foreign people, new languages, weird food, strange climates, new surroundings and beautiful scenery awaits us.

Paul Nigh's Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine
Paul Nigh’s Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine

Not So Common Courtesy

There’s a seemingly difficult area between different types of relationships between two (or more) people I would like to call ‘common courtesy’. Whether we are talking people in business, neighbors, complete strangers or even lovers is actually irrelevant, but the basic understanding that you need to consider someone else in your decision making is far more important than most people realize or even wish to acknowledge. I can think of a few common areas of my life where courtesy becomes very important.

Traffic
I spend a great deal of time, like most people, in traffic. What I have observed all over the world (okay, some parts of the world) is how much time people spend on their phones whilst behind the wheel. It’s more so alarming in SA. It is as though there simply isn’t enough time to wait before we get to a complete standstill before we act on the urge to satisfy this incredible desire to respond now.

What I have found even more interesting is how you can get away with so much nonsense if the driver you’re offending/cutting off/not letting in even though they’ve been indicating/not moving quickly enough from a green traffic light is if that poor soul is on their phone at the time of being wronged. It’s fair to say many people struggle to concentrate fully on commanding a vehicle and fiddling with their device. I’ve seen near misses myself and I have to say – it’s pretty inconsiderate to be on your phone in traffic. I may find Bluetooth headsets quite ugly (so sad that I owned one nearly 10 years ago 😦 ), but they allow you to show some courtesy in paying attention to your surroundings a little bit better. It would be a damn shame to see life lost simply because you couldn’t wait to reply to that message that could have waited…

Neighbors
I’m a bedroom disk jockey (DJ) and with this hobby, seeing as I hardly get booked (boohoo 😦 ) means my neighbors have no choice but to be schooled into starting to like my particular taste in house music. I sometimes will have some friends over and of course there is actually never a time the allocated visitor parking lots are sufficient or conveniently located as such. That’s in fact one of my issues with sectional title housing. Firstly they cost as much as a standalone house (likely in a ‘cheaper’ area) and secondly these walls seem to be ever so thin, fam.

At some point we will all experience the baby that will absolutely never stop crying, the fighting couple (I say NO to domestic violence), the bass-bumping on max to test the new sound system guy next door, the lady preparing that extremely fragrant African dish, the braai smoke that is CONVENIENTLY blowing in through the tiny gap under your door to terrorize the hunger dwelling in you, the neighbor who got home slightly (read completely) inebriated and parked halfway into your allocated parking lane, the neighbor who very well knows you can see that they’re walking about butt naked in their apartment, but they don’t actually care about you, the angry neighbor who seems to not like you which obviously means they need to get laid to the old couple which call the security every single time they hear any form of noise coming out of what they have figured out to be your apartment.

These reasons and more are why I would prefer a full title deed house someday soon. I love people all in all, but I need my space to just be free, enjoy my house music, cook what I want, braai when I want to, be angry at my walls when I want to, and perhaps just be butt naked when I want to be.

Workplace
I frankly think it’s very inconsiderate to set up a meeting for any time after 3pm on a Friday (can I get an amen). Once that meeting ends at 16:45 you now need to now go be nice and peaceful during Friday peak hour traffic? Talk about being tested.

How about that bastard who not only decided to use your clearly marked milk, but didn’t care to wipe the milk that spilled along the side of your milk container (load all the sadness in the world right at this here moment) so now not only do you seem like a pig, but a stingy pig 😦

The loud, inappropriate mobile phone ringtones? Oh man oh man… How about guy you want to spill a specially purchased bottle of English Blazer, read Doom, all over since it’s become apparent they conserve water by not showering? Because the dynamic of people in a business environment are so vast and wide I can recall that colleague that would be spraying some hair spray before their lunch time date, the one leaving spilling sugar granules all over the small kitchen counter without it seeming like a problem at all to the rest humankind to the 22 degree Celsius air conditioning settings that obviously don’t work for black people because we’d prefer 24, but 23 would be a fair compromise! Hahahahahahaha! So many things can be observed in a large office space.

A loud playing radio in a bank was my most recent ‘strange’ experience. I walk into ABSA bank at OR Tambo and since it’s pretty empty at the time 2 ladies behind the teller counters are playing music off a small radio. Audibly enough for me to obviously fail to ignore it. Now, I know black people are generally more comfortable around other black people, as can be expected with any racial group, but as soon as a while lad walked in? Radio off. I felt a notch disrespected as I wasn’t there to loiter. I mean… REALLY?

Relationships
You know that friend that lies about being 5 minutes away when they’re actually just leaving their place that’s a good 30 minutes or more+ away from yours? Don’t be this person 😦 People respecting someone else’s time, and concern, really need to up their game. It actually is not fair to have someone unable to reach you simply because what you may have to say at the time was not convenient for you. I cannot tell you how easy it is to worry about someone else’s well-being if I care about that person. It’s also the reason why I am likely easy to reach on at least 2 mobile devices regardless of where I may be. It’s considerate to myself, in case one dies sooner than expected because nowhere to charge the damn thing, or I simply consider the next person that if for example one line is out of signal range the other one is and I can easily brief them on where I am and that everything is okay. How about her hair all over the sink, the unwashed dishes you left, shoes you left in the lounge the entire day… A little consideration goes a long way when it’s no longer just about you.

Be it your sister, parent/guardian, friend or partner – always try exercise some courtesy. It gives one an incredible peace of mind, and will also buy you one important thing money can’t really buy – trust. It’s a pity that each and every day, even when you avoid human interaction, common courtesy is clearly not second nature to many people. You know what’s cool? It’s something everyone can learn. Fantastic.

*Texts boss to say I’m running 5min late because ‘traffic’ when I know I actually overslept* 🙂

Not so consider... Hahahahahaha! Shame man! :"D
Not so consider… Hahahahahaha! Shame man!

😀

Tied^

So some months back I went out into the the big bad world of Johannesburg in search of something very simple – some form of African attire I can wear to a friend’s upcoming wedding.  Ultimately I realised that “Hey, you’re a tie man!”

I love ties.  They make sense.  They help me feel ‘put together’.  That and I find it impossible to wear something like a dashiki.  So… I went looking for a tie that incorporated African print instead.  Did I find one?  Yes of course I did – bow ties.  Many of them.  Not my scene as such.  I did however stumble across some amazing African print on that search.  It then dawned on me that “Hey, you a guy that can sew some things together if need be!”

Which is true, I guess.  There were some non-believers, especially a particular lady, but I put my first slim tie using African print together and… I think this works!  Time travel 4 months later and http://tiedup.co/ is about to go up in early October 2014.  This tie I made is now a potentially decent business founded on the basis that I couldn’t find what I was looking for.  So I made it.  Out of this came the idea of an online Men’s Accessories company named “Tied^” (Tied Up) with a friend who is now my partner on this venture.  We will look at creating interesting items that incorporate African print so that it can finally be worn by men in a way that has never really been seen before.  Some ‘rare’.  Some ‘common’.  All made to order.

Should be great!  I’m excited about this and will give it my all.

Coming^Soon_B

Street Vendas*

This here post has nothing to do with the Venda ethnic group in South Africa, but everything to do with a chap who went onto the South African Idols back in 2010.  Being welcomed into the room he gets asked by Gareth Cliff about what he does.  He explains how he’s running a small business selling sweets and stuff.  Gareth therefore asks: “So, you’re a Venda?”  The very surprised young man is surprised and replies: “No, I’m not a Venda.  I’m a Zulu.”  I absolutely died.  Actually – watch the 22 second clip here.

I LOVE SOUTH AFRICA SO MUCH! 

Now, imagine you were a street vendor.  What would you sell and where would you be located?  I have to admit – standing in the sun all day, ducking all kinds of vehicles and taxi driver stunts in order to make ends meet would be a tall task for many of you!  Especially those of you who are physically bigger targets… I JOKE!  What would you sell if you could sell something though?  From the crew selling “cool time ice lollies” for this here African sun to Lewis* Vetton* bags at the intersection of William Nicol and the N1 Western Bypass to swimming pool inflatable jackets to wall clocks to news papers to mobile phone accessories to battery-operated toys for children to fruit basket to coffee and tea to soft drinks to sporting team outfits to selling dance moves to selling jokes… MAN!  What pushes this to be all viable?  Only two things (I think) – traffic and putting food on the table without resorting to crime.  

Yes, of course the police will confiscate your goods every now and then – that comes with the territory!  Especially the fake DVDs, my guy.  I would definitely sell fruits and some vegetables.  Perishables aren’t something I’m fond of keeping in my residence, but they’re healthy!  Healthy people are smaller targets!  Smaller targets are easier to duck on the road!  I JOKE AGAIN!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  I take it back.  Location?  Anywhere really.  I’m quite fond of corner William Nicol and Fourways/Sunrise Boulevard though.  Traffic aplenty – vehicles and pedestrians.

“Grapes Thirty Rand!  Grapes Thirty Rand!  Grapes Thirty Rand!” – me.  At my corner.

 Well packaged.  Fresh.  Rocking my sunscreen (skin cancer in SA is ranked #2 in the world – for real!  See here)  and working my best whistle.  Making that R200-800 profit per day when the weather and traffic allows…  then to sing on Idols SA in 2015!  *insert air punch here*

FullSizeRender

Women and Flirting…

“Beep Beep” – the arrival of a flirtatious text on a lady’s phone.  From you, my guy.  Something lousy about how amazing she looks and how you’re into her.  

Problem is that she feels this much for you: 0.

Don’t sweat it!  It happens.  People want to attract the attention and affection of those they consider actual ‘potentials’.  Some even after they have settled down… The rest of us?  We are mere humans!  There seemingly isn’t a way you can put a foot right with the target.  Not in the foreseeable and desirable future anyway.  A time you won’t get to reach because you’d be deflated.  Fuel runs out!  However… if you’re the right person for ‘the job’?  Mannnn… you will even hear from this lady about how others are failing to meet the benchmark you didn’t even try to reach.  Good going, my guy!  Life is tricky and (un)fair like that.  What is even more weird?  You’re possibly not attracted to this lady.  Not like that anyway.  She is very much deeply embedded in the swamp area of your friend-zone.  Also pretty cool?  The guys she doesn’t deem ‘good enough for the job’ are in the same position.  Knee-deep in that mosquito-infested water.  Life’s little joke.  You were expecting to read and see something about the content of this flirting?  It actually doesn’t matter.  Demand and supply – don’t do it and you’ll find that the market is suddenly begging to hear you say sweet nothings, my guy!  WIN!  That said – keep at it, but leave our women alone, you bastards!

 Sleepy-woman-checking-messages-on-cell-phone

 

I’m b(l)ack!

This isn’t some deep post.  I’m back from my blogging vacation.  I’m also wearing all-black clothing right now.  So, I’m b(l)ack! I have realised that writing long pieces put me off being here, but enough of that!  Now straight to the point pieces.  Like a chicken drumstick.  I love chicken drumsticks.  I’ve also time travelled to a few time zones and back.  Which reminds me – I love the 80’s science fiction trilogy “Back To The Future” directed by none other than Stephen Spielberg!  One of my all-time favourite science fiction movies.  You know what’s cool?  The years they travelled to back then?  They’re round about now :’) “Great Scott!”

Back To The Future Posters

This is my idea of giving birth…

Few things I enjoyed a few years ago like creating websites. Graphic design a bit, but giving birth to a website fills me with great pride and some form of technical understating. Attention to detail. And no other website is better to put together, as a ‘creative’, such as your own. You’re literally free to do anything you want. And so I did. I am silly in a way so I had to throw in some silly lines here and there. Also, now I have a single point of reference for my hobby of being a DJ as well as a page I can point people who would like to access my mixes to.

This new site incorporates a design style I founded (or rather one I’ve never seen anywhere else in the world wide web) which is a single page. Accessible from any platform such as phones as well and I had to consider the likes of computers with mice as well as touchscreen devices when designing it. Yes, it will look similar to the F5 Website, which I also put together a few years ago, and the idea is to navigate the entire web page on the landing page. All ‘sub-pages’ are actually low-resolution images so that the site can open easily and quickly on even a slow net connection.

Now, this does NOT mean I am now looking to become a big shot DJ. No. It hopefully indicates that I am serious about life.

Sunday evening, 19 January 2014, I gave birth to this here baby that you can visit at this link:

vnmstr

Check it out. Book me. I need the moola! Lol. No, for real (-_-“)

I introduce: Dj (Vin)Meister Branding

I have always imagine I would brand myself some way or some how some day. I have actually been doing the DJing “thing” for longer than I can care to remember. Okay I lie – since 2003. I played at a party where I ‘dropped’ a track called “Casablanca”. I was basically escorted away from the DJ booth shortly afterwards. It took another 3 years to get that dream up and running again by playing at a varsity party in 2006. Which went well-ish. Well, you know the usual poor DJ struggle – Virtual DJ and no other real equipment…

Fast forward to 2014 and I am finally on the brink of my first official, and paying, gig!

MAMA I’VE MADE IT

It is fair to say I am a little dramatic. And so I went and branded myself as DJ Vinmeister officially. Got a website up and running at all (Check next post). All this in one Sunday where I had just enough peace and quiet to do whatever I pleased. And so I did. I introduce:

dj_vinmeister_logo