Tied^

So some months back I went out into the the big bad world of Johannesburg in search of something very simple – some form of African attire I can wear to a friend’s upcoming wedding.  Ultimately I realised that “Hey, you’re a tie man!”

I love ties.  They make sense.  They help me feel ‘put together’.  That and I find it impossible to wear something like a dashiki.  So… I went looking for a tie that incorporated African print instead.  Did I find one?  Yes of course I did – bow ties.  Many of them.  Not my scene as such.  I did however stumble across some amazing African print on that search.  It then dawned on me that “Hey, you a guy that can sew some things together if need be!”

Which is true, I guess.  There were some non-believers, especially a particular lady, but I put my first slim tie using African print together and… I think this works!  Time travel 4 months later and http://tiedup.co/ is about to go up in early October 2014.  This tie I made is now a potentially decent business founded on the basis that I couldn’t find what I was looking for.  So I made it.  Out of this came the idea of an online Men’s Accessories company named “Tied^” (Tied Up) with a friend who is now my partner on this venture.  We will look at creating interesting items that incorporate African print so that it can finally be worn by men in a way that has never really been seen before.  Some ‘rare’.  Some ‘common’.  All made to order.

Should be great!  I’m excited about this and will give it my all.

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Street Vendas*

This here post has nothing to do with the Venda ethnic group in South Africa, but everything to do with a chap who went onto the South African Idols back in 2010.  Being welcomed into the room he gets asked by Gareth Cliff about what he does.  He explains how he’s running a small business selling sweets and stuff.  Gareth therefore asks: “So, you’re a Venda?”  The very surprised young man is surprised and replies: “No, I’m not a Venda.  I’m a Zulu.”  I absolutely died.  Actually – watch the 22 second clip here.

I LOVE SOUTH AFRICA SO MUCH! 

Now, imagine you were a street vendor.  What would you sell and where would you be located?  I have to admit – standing in the sun all day, ducking all kinds of vehicles and taxi driver stunts in order to make ends meet would be a tall task for many of you!  Especially those of you who are physically bigger targets… I JOKE!  What would you sell if you could sell something though?  From the crew selling “cool time ice lollies” for this here African sun to Lewis* Vetton* bags at the intersection of William Nicol and the N1 Western Bypass to swimming pool inflatable jackets to wall clocks to news papers to mobile phone accessories to battery-operated toys for children to fruit basket to coffee and tea to soft drinks to sporting team outfits to selling dance moves to selling jokes… MAN!  What pushes this to be all viable?  Only two things (I think) – traffic and putting food on the table without resorting to crime.  

Yes, of course the police will confiscate your goods every now and then – that comes with the territory!  Especially the fake DVDs, my guy.  I would definitely sell fruits and some vegetables.  Perishables aren’t something I’m fond of keeping in my residence, but they’re healthy!  Healthy people are smaller targets!  Smaller targets are easier to duck on the road!  I JOKE AGAIN!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  I take it back.  Location?  Anywhere really.  I’m quite fond of corner William Nicol and Fourways/Sunrise Boulevard though.  Traffic aplenty – vehicles and pedestrians.

“Grapes Thirty Rand!  Grapes Thirty Rand!  Grapes Thirty Rand!” – me.  At my corner.

 Well packaged.  Fresh.  Rocking my sunscreen (skin cancer in SA is ranked #2 in the world – for real!  See here)  and working my best whistle.  Making that R200-800 profit per day when the weather and traffic allows…  then to sing on Idols SA in 2015!  *insert air punch here*

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Women and Flirting…

“Beep Beep” – the arrival of a flirtatious text on a lady’s phone.  From you, my guy.  Something lousy about how amazing she looks and how you’re into her.  

Problem is that she feels this much for you: 0.

Don’t sweat it!  It happens.  People want to attract the attention and affection of those they consider actual ‘potentials’.  Some even after they have settled down… The rest of us?  We are mere humans!  There seemingly isn’t a way you can put a foot right with the target.  Not in the foreseeable and desirable future anyway.  A time you won’t get to reach because you’d be deflated.  Fuel runs out!  However… if you’re the right person for ‘the job’?  Mannnn… you will even hear from this lady about how others are failing to meet the benchmark you didn’t even try to reach.  Good going, my guy!  Life is tricky and (un)fair like that.  What is even more weird?  You’re possibly not attracted to this lady.  Not like that anyway.  She is very much deeply embedded in the swamp area of your friend-zone.  Also pretty cool?  The guys she doesn’t deem ‘good enough for the job’ are in the same position.  Knee-deep in that mosquito-infested water.  Life’s little joke.  You were expecting to read and see something about the content of this flirting?  It actually doesn’t matter.  Demand and supply – don’t do it and you’ll find that the market is suddenly begging to hear you say sweet nothings, my guy!  WIN!  That said – keep at it, but leave our women alone, you bastards!

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I’m b(l)ack!

This isn’t some deep post.  I’m back from my blogging vacation.  I’m also wearing all-black clothing right now.  So, I’m b(l)ack! I have realised that writing long pieces put me off being here, but enough of that!  Now straight to the point pieces.  Like a chicken drumstick.  I love chicken drumsticks.  I’ve also time travelled to a few time zones and back.  Which reminds me – I love the 80’s science fiction trilogy “Back To The Future” directed by none other than Stephen Spielberg!  One of my all-time favourite science fiction movies.  You know what’s cool?  The years they travelled to back then?  They’re round about now :’) “Great Scott!”

Back To The Future Posters